Prophecies are a classic staple of any great TTRPG campaign. They’re epic, mysterious, and drive the plot forward. But let’s be honest, players have a special talent for getting the details… wonderfully wrong. Instead of fighting it, why not lean into the chaos? Introducing the Misheard Prophecies table—your new favourite tool for turning player fumbles into unforgettable adventure hooks!

The Misheard Prophecies d20 Table

This table is designed to inject a dose of humour and unexpected absurdity into your game. When your players are handed a world-altering prophecy, there’s a chance they hear something just a *little* different. Roll a d20 or pick your favourite!

1. Original: The Dragon’s Tear will extinguish the eternal flame.
   Misheard: The Drunken Bear will extinguish the infernal game.
2. Original: When the stars align, the chosen one will rise.
   Misheard: When the cars decline, the frozen bun will rise.
3. Original: Only the blade forged in moonlight can pierce the darkness.
   Misheard: Only the braid forced in moonlight can pierce the darkness.
4. Original: The lost city shall rise again when the rivers turn red.
   Misheard: The lost kitty shall rise again when the rivers turn bread.
5. Original: Beware the serpent’s tongue, for it speaks only lies.
   Misheard: Beware the servant’s tongue, for he speaks only fries.
6. Original: The King’s blood will open the way.
   Misheard: The Clean’s blood will open the whey.
7. Original: The artifact is hidden where shadows dance in the moonlight.
   Misheard: The artichoke is hidden where shadows prance in the moonlight.
8. Original: In the heart of the forest, a secret sleeps.
   Misheard: In the fart of the florist, a secret sleeps.
9. Original: The key to salvation lies within the mountain’s core.
   Misheard: The key to salivation lies within the fountain’s score.
10. Original: When the two moons eclipse, the seal will break.
    Misheard: When the two spoons eclipse, the meal will break.

How to Use This Madness

Putting these bizarre prophecies into play is simple and fun:

• Roll with it: The next time your players misremember a prophecy, roll on the table and make their version the new reality.
• Embrace the Twist: Let the hilarious consequences unfold. The quest for the Dragon’s Tear is now a hunt for a legendary, inebriated bear.
• Create New Hooks: Use a misheard prophecy as the starting point for a brand new, lighthearted side quest or even a full adventure arc.
• Combine and Conquer: Don’t be afraid to mix elements! Maybe the Drunken Bear is the *key* to finding the Dragon’s Tear.

Misheard Prophecies in Action

Here’s how it can play out at your table:

Example 1:

• Original: “The Dragon Egg will bring forth a new era.”
• Misheard: “The Waggon’s Leg will bring forth a new error.”
• Result: The party is suddenly on a quest to find a specific wagon’s leg, which is the source of a bizarre magical glitch affecting the entire kingdom.

Example 2:

• Original: “The treasure lies where the sun kisses the stone.”
• Misheard: “The measure lies where the bun hisses at the scone.”
• Result: The adventurers are now searching a magical bakery for a specific measuring cup, convinced it’s the key to a legendary treasure.

This table is more than just a list of jokes; it’s a springboard for creativity. It empowers you as a Dungeon Master to reward your players’ wild interpretations and build a truly unique and memorable campaign. So go ahead, let your players get it wrong—it might just be the best thing that ever happens to your adventure!